Last Friday, after canceling & shifting everything due to shelter in place, I beelined to the freezer – convinced the only way to feel better was obviously to eat ice cream. As I reached for a spoon, I felt this clear word to put the ice cream away & go for a walk.
So there I am – walking by myself, crying & talking (to, I don’t know, the squirrels??) about how everything is all messed up. How I’m letting my parents down, how zoom is going to kill the momentum we’ve gained with the youth, how everything just sucks.
I passed a spot where, during the summer I would go to “reset” with Jesus. As I walked down the hill, I heard a very clear word, “Stop & try talking to me about how you feel instead.”
I backtracked up the hill & came to my reset spot – just like I did many times earlier in the year. I unloaded to Jesus all these things that I felt so powerless to fix. All the things that felt like they were going to crumble & I had no control over. As I sat there, Jesus reminded me of how great he is. How strong & powerful he is. How he is in control, so I don’t have to be. How he’s still the same. He still comes close. He’s still redeeming the time & making it valuable. Still trustworthy. Still holding everything together. Still able to bring goodness even when everything’s different than I expect.
When everything I thought I could count on was once again falling apart, when everything I’d put my hope in was once again failing, Jesus was still right there. Not berating me for not remembering the things he’s been teaching me over & over this year, just pointing me back to the one thing that I can anchor all my hope to – himself.
God wanted to prove that his promise was true. He wanted to prove this to those who would get what he promised. He wanted them to understand clearly that his purposes never change. God proved his promise by also making an oath… These things give us strength to hold on to the hope we have been given. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, sure & strong. It enters behind the curtain in the Most Holy Place in heaven. Jesus has gone in there ahead of us & for us. He has become the high priest forever, a priest like Melchizedek. - Hebrews 6:17-20
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